


Be Right Back

by argentumauream



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Peter has separation anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24737722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentumauream/pseuds/argentumauream
Summary: “Hey.” Juno mumbled, pressing a light kiss to Peter’s forehead as he crawled back under the covers. “Go back to sleep.” His waking mind would later remember how Peter had looked, tense, hand fisted in the sheets until Juno had laid back down.Sometimes Juno needs to get up in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 36
Kudos: 313





	Be Right Back

**Author's Note:**

> SHOUTOUT TO MY LOVELY PARTNER FOR GETTING ME OBSESSED WITH TPP. (and for proofreading this fic) We've been angsting about these two for weeks now and I've started about three different fics but this is the one I managed to finish first. 
> 
> If you love a sad and anxious Nureyev with a sprinkling of guilt-ridden Juno, then this is the fic for you! Enjoy :)

The first time it happened, Juno barely noticed. He’d gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, quietly slipping out of bed so as not to wake Peter. He’d still been half asleep by the time he came back, but he was awake enough to see Peter lying there, awake, staring at the door to the room.

“Hey.” Juno mumbled, pressing a light kiss to Peter’s forehead as he crawled back under the covers. “Go back to sleep.” 

His waking mind would later remember how Peter had looked, tense, hand fisted in the sheets until Juno had laid back down. 

The second time he had a nightmare. It was something stupid that he couldn’t even remember by the time he realized he was awake, but it left him restless, so he quietly slid out from under the covers once again. He headed down the hall to the kitchen, looking to make a quick snack. He ate and played a game on his coms before he finally felt ready to go back to sleep.

He was far more awake this time, so when he returned to find Peter sitting up in bed, head in his hands, he actually had the wherewithal to be concerned. 

Peter’s wide eyes snapped to him at the sound of the opening door. 

“Hey,” Juno said, pausing in the doorway. “Are you… okay?”

Peter opened his mouth and closed it again several times, but nothing came out. Juno realized that was probably a stupid question. 

He crossed the room to sit down on the bed next to Peter, who was watching him intently, still with that wide-eyed scared expression.

“Nightmare?” Juno asked gently.

Peter looked at him for a moment, then his gaze dropped to where he was clutching the blanket. “Something like that.”

Juno nodded. “You wanna talk about it?”

Peter paused, worrying his lip slightly between his teeth. Juno reached out tentatively, giving him time to pull away, and gently untangled Peter’s fingers from the blanket. He threaded them with his instead, and started rubbing his thumb softly across the back of Peter’s hand. 

Peter looked down at their hands, then up at Juno. “Can we just… go back to sleep?”

“‘Course we can.” 

Juno gently pulled Peter down to the bed, keeping their hands twined together. Peter curled against him, resting his head on Juno’s chest.

With the warm weight of Peter on top of him it didn’t take long for Juno to start drifting off, so he was already almost asleep when he realized how tightly Peter was gripping his hand. 

It wasn’t really the third time, more like the third time Juno noticed. He had another nightmare, this one far more vivid and disturbing. Past enemies and traumas coming to haunt him in his sleep, til he awoke with a start. He lay there for a moment getting his breathing under control, then he slowly sat up. He glanced over at Peter, still fast asleep beside him. He needed some air, and they were docked on a planet that had a nice atmosphere, so he decided to take a walk. 

Quietly, so as not to wake Peter, he changed out of his pajamas and slipped on his shoes, then made his way out of the room and out of the ship.

Juno walked through the silent streets of the small town where they were docked until the first rays of sun started to peek over the horizon. Eventually his head was clear enough that he felt like he should return to the ship. When he got back it was still early enough that no one was awake, but they would be soon. He shucked his coat as he made his way back through the ship towards his room, but when he got to the door he paused. It sounded like someone was moving around on the other side, Peter must be awake. 

He slid the door open. “You’re up early-” He trailed off as he stepped into the room. Peter was standing in the middle of the room, frozen in place from where he’d been pacing agitatedly. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was a mess like he’d been running his fingers through it. His face was red like he’d been crying. “Peter? Are you-”

“And where the hell were you?!” Peter suddenly exclaimed, whirling to face him. 

“Where was- What’s wrong?” Juno asked, alarmed. He took a step closer, reaching towards him, but Peter all but smacked his hand away. Juno shrunk back.

“Where  _ were  _ you, Juno?!”

“Jesus, I was taking a walk!” Juno exclaimed indignantly, not excited to be yelled at this early in the morning.

“Taking a walk? Without telling anyone where you’re going? Gone for  _ two hours  _ with no word of what’s become of you?!” Peter was gesturing wildly.

“I’m a grown ass adult Nureyev!” Juno’s voice was rising to be as loud as Peter’s. “Am I not allowed to go somewhere by myself?!”

_ “Not when I don’t know if you’re coming back!!”  _

The words hung heavy in the air in the silence that followed. Fresh tears welled in Peter’s eyes, and for a moment Juno forgot what they were talking about, his hands twitching with the urge to reach out and wipe those tears away. But then his words processed, and Juno felt his heart sink like a stone.

“Is that… what this is about?” He asked quietly.

Peter wouldn’t meet his gaze, he scrubbed the tears roughly from his face only for them to be replaced by fresh ones moments later. 

“Peter…” Juno took a tentative step forward and Peter didn’t shrink away immediately, which he hoped was a good sign. “All those times I’ve gotten up at night, have you been- is this-”

“You’ll forgive me for having some trust issues,  _ Juno. _ ” 

Despite the tears streaking down his face, the venom in Peter’s voice didn’t waver, and Juno felt it like a punch to the gut.

“Peter I- I-” But what could he say? He’d already apologized countless times, Peter had even started telling him to stop. Telling him that he was forgiven. 

But you can forgive someone while still being afraid that they don’t deserve it.

Finally, Juno took another step forward so they were face to face. “I’ll tell you next time, before I leave.” Juno said quietly, but with conviction. 

Peter slowly met his eyes. The tears had slowed to a trickle, and when Peter didn’t flinch away from his touch Juno reached up to wipe them away. Peter leaned into his hand just slightly, closing his eyes for a moment.

Then he frowned. “You’re going to warn me every time you get up to use the bathroom?” The sarcasm was evident in his voice, but Juno just smiled gently at him. 

“If you want me to.” 

Peter actually looked surprised, which made Juno’s chest ache. Did he really not see? Of  _ course  _ he would do this, of  _ course  _ he would do anything it took to make up for what he did. 

“Peter, it’s… the least I can do.” He mumbled, gaze darting away. 

“Juno…”

“And hey, it’s not like it’s a big deal. I just gotta remind you I’ll be right back.”

Peter had an expression on his face that Juno couldn’t quite place, eyes trained on him and lip was caught between his sharp teeth. Juno wanted to kiss it. 

“I know…  _ logically  _ that you’re not going anywhere.” Peter mumbled. “But that doesn’t always help.” 

Juno kicked himself for not noticing this particular anxiety before, then he kicked himself again since it was his fault in the first place.

“That’s fair.” He sighed. “But the reminder couldn’t hurt, right?”

“I… suppose not.” 

“And even if it’s hard to believe me now… I’ll prove it to you. That I mean it. That I’m not going anywhere.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“By always coming back.” Juno had never said anything he felt more sure of, and he tried to pour that feeling into the words. Peter was still giving him that  _ look _ , and Juno realized it was akin to hope, but a tentative sort of hope. So he kept talking. “I don’t know how long it’ll take for you to trust me, if you ever can, but I’ll keep showing you I mean it. I’ll keep proving it to you however long you’ll let me. I promise, I’m not going-”

Juno was cut off by Peter surging forward to press their lips together. He gave a quiet gasp that was lost in Peter’s mouth. Juno’s hands automatically came up around him to hold him closer, and Peter had a hand on the back of his neck holding him in place. The kiss was rough at first, hurried, like Peter was still afraid Juno might disappear at any moment. But neither seemed to want to let go, and soon it turned soft and careful, almost tentative. Juno rubbed his thumb in soothing circles against Peter’s back. 

When they finally parted, that look on Peter’s face had formed into something more solid, sure, and Juno felt the tightness in his chest loosen a little. 

“Juno… I love you.” 

Peter said it quietly into the small space between them, expression open and vulnerable. Juno was starkly reminded of how easily he said it the first time, before there were so many broken promises between them. Then, Juno hadn’t been able to say it back except indirectly. But now, looking at that hopeful expression, knowing how much they had to go through to get here…

“I love you too.”

Juno Steel was never good at talking about his feelings, but he said those four words like he meant it, because he knew that he did. 

It wasn’t perfect right away. In the beginning, Juno would slip out of bed with a ‘be right back’ whispered into the night, and still come back to find Peter sitting up in bed, breathing short and shallow. But he would always relax the moment Juno walked into the room, and Juno would let him hold his hand too tightly as they fell back asleep. 

On one occasion, in the haze of sleep he forgot to say anything, and Peter was a tear streaked mess by the time he returned. Juno whispered apologies into his hair as Peter clung to him, and they fell back asleep tangled together under the covers.

But as time went on, the incidents were less and less dramatic. It became routine, ‘be right back’, murmured into the quiet room or pressed with a kiss against Peter’s temple. It was three months later when Juno really realized it.

“Be right back.” He said, as he sat up, running his fingers once through Peter’s hair. He made a small noise in his sleep but didn’t stir. And when Juno returned, and slipped back into bed, he realized that Peter was still. Not the unnatural stillness of someone pretending to be asleep as he had seen so many times before though. His chest rose and fell gently with his breathing, he shifted slightly when the bed dipped as Juno laid down. 

Juno took a moment just to look at him, eyelashes fanned on his cheeks, hair splayed out over the pillow, lips gently parted to show a glimpse of those sharp teeth. And it hit him that he was here, deeply asleep, like he trusted that Juno would be there when he woke up. 

He scooted closer, and as he did so Peter shifted and cuddled up against him in his sleep. 

Juno knew he would do anything not to betray that trust. 

  
  



End file.
